WEAVING DAYDREAMS AND DISTORTING LULLABYES: April 2005

Saturday, April 30, 2005

nostalgia

plambautista: san ba school mo?
sixthfiddler: asia pacific film institue
sixthfiddler: along edsa
sixthfiddler: lunch tayo!
plambautista: which part of edsa
sixthfiddler: sa ortigas!
sixthfiddler: :)
sixthfiddler: you want?
plambautista: mahaba ang edsa
plambautista: sige!
sixthfiddler: lunch or merienda
plambautista: i'll bring my new 6.1mp cam
plambautista: hehe
sixthfiddler: right in front of the shrine, right beside POEA
sixthfiddler: AY GRABE
sixthfiddler: sige
sixthfiddler: i'll bring my new boyfriend?
sixthfiddler: hahahahahaha
sixthfiddler: ANG PANGET
plambautista: punyeta
sixthfiddler: SHIT
sixthfiddler: ANG PANGEEEEEEEEET
sixthfiddler: forget i said that please
sixthfiddler: yuck
sixthfiddler: i want to slap myself
sixthfiddler: YUCK
sixthfiddler: YUCK
sixthfiddler: YUCK
sixthfiddler: YUCK
plambautista: hahahahaha....check out my blogger in a few minutes
sixthfiddler: sige
sixthfiddler: but seriosly tho... you want me to bring mike?
sixthfiddler: diba you said you wanna meet him?
plambautista: pwede..
plambautista: pero censored ang conversations natin eheh
sixthfiddler: he can leave us alone later on
sixthfiddler: haha
sixthfiddler: just for you to meet
plambautista: ah sige
sixthfiddler: and for him to pay for our food
sixthfiddler: wahahaha
plambautista: hahahaha

even if i dont talk to her for months, i know that i have my eggnog to run to when i need someone to smack me in the head. as she has said, there are different kinds of best friends. she's one of mine :) i miss you mic. i'm your number two fan. always. i love you! and i'll see you soon.

10:24:00 AM 0 comments

Thursday, April 28, 2005

old skool

there will always be a piece of the past in all of us. there's always a taint of tradition in our bones. after all, post-its don't always stick. at least not forever. pda's and computers always have the possibility of crashing. since there's no guarantee as to the future, it's always best to look back on yesterday and see how it would make you move on.

12:45:00 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

SIN CITY

SOS 8888: in the Sin City with Sherrie and Tita Shirley. Damnit Shaun! Why do you have to be in Iraq?!?

7:59:00 AM 2 comments

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

april winter

i feel as if i'm that kite stuck on a tree during this cold spring season of the windy city.

2:54:00 AM 2 comments

butterfly kisses

the weekend was fun (though i was not too thrilled about the 20-degree wind outside!) three days of total intoxication: red and white wine, margarita, whiskey coke, bud light... damn, no wonder my stomach was ready to turn inside out! what hodgepodge of alcohol! hours of dancing and chatting. bar-full of guys: shrubs and trees, sinatras and siberian huskies, straight and gay.

i love this life!

i should do this more often, being all laid back without any care in this world. the only moment when i think of nothing but myself and the things that i want. when was the last time i thought of myself, anyway?

i've been craving for total independence. breaking free from the chains binding me to the path laid down by the world for me. silencing the murmurs of the wind that's trying to make me move. the wedding bells may not be ringing just yet but it's about time i let go of his hand.

2:53:00 AM 0 comments

Monday, April 25, 2005

360 degree turn

you cannot change a person with one dance. neither can you change him overnight.

i was always told that there's no such thing as change; only understanding.

will i wait for him to change? no. i keep loving him even more each day.

blech. mehn! total sappiness. eew.

12:42:00 AM 0 comments

Sunday, April 24, 2005

senior citizens' carpool

driving home with my grandfolks and their neighbors. coming from a wedding anniversary of another neighbor. old neighbor number 1: you know what, patti, don't grow old.

peter pan syndrome. can we really stop time and live as if we're sixteen? forever?

6:10:00 AM 1 comments

pat and lovine in an artshow, downtown los angeles.

PAT: yung latin naiintindihan ko pero yung french hindi.
LOVINE: eh ang puso?

eew. keso ampotah.

12:21:00 AM 0 comments

thinking...

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, Where have I gone wrong? Then a voice says to me, This is going to take more than one night. -- Charlie Brown

Hell yeah.

12:15:00 AM 0 comments

Saturday, April 23, 2005

anonymous

too much of a chicken to say who you are.

2:48:00 PM 0 comments

gopwez: "FUCK! I missed it!" (referring to almost each and every exit in the freeway)

1:01:00 PM 0 comments

with gopwez in the sunny west coast.

12:59:00 PM 0 comments

The WEST SIDE STORY

always give someone or something a chance to prove him/herself or itself to you. i mean go ahead and judge a book by its cover but try reading it too. you can always put it down or throw it out the window when you get pissed off at the story. or you can also allow yourself to drown in romanticized words of the author. the point is, give it a chance to flirt with you. who knows, you might be part of the whole scenario anyways.

12:58:00 PM 2 comments

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

the truth

do you even know what i've done for you? dude, i'm not even asking for a thank you of some sort. all i'm asking is that you be a man and face the music. to run away is the most coward thing that you can do. to leave something hanging, with me getting stuck with everything. just so you know, i fought for you. i defended you. i told everyone that i saw through the image, that you're a good person and that you have the best of intentions at heart. that you don't hurt people on purpose and that you make sure i'm safe. heck, i told them i really wouldn't care about what they say because you can damn make me laugh. but after this, i wonder if i did the right thing, coming to your rescue when people were killing you with words...maybe i did the wrong thing. but i still do believe in you....if that's even worth anything at all.

6:51:00 AM 1 comments

for people who think they know me, even in the slightest way, think again...

i don't get mad. i get even. of course, vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord...but i'm only human. and sometimes the Lord takes forever to avenge me.
i'm always in love. day in and day out. it even changes in the middle of the day so don't even think you're anyone THAT special. you're just one of those guys, you know =)
i'm malambing. and i really hate letting my friends go hungry. so i give them chocolates or food. and when i see something that reminds me of you, i'd buy it an instant. hey, i'd do it for anyone and everyone.
if i want something done, i'd do it myself. if it needs your physical presence, i'd pick you up wherever you are and bring you to wherever my "project" would be (and not because i think you're cute).

ok, i can't think of the other things, probably because my brain is already on its way to chicago..

6:40:00 AM 2 comments

Monday, April 11, 2005

running away

you know the feeling of being very safe around someone? the type wherein you know nothing will harm you. and if there comes a time that something bad will happen that person will just whisk you away into safety? something like a knight in shining armor, just hanging around, waiting for the time that he would rescue you? and you know the feeling that you fall in love and suddenly all the security that you feel is gone because you put yourself in the situation that you risk safety for a chance at being loved back? and then suddenly everything fades to gray and all is gone..the safety, the security, even the friendship.

with still all the love, no words to say, tears running down, a broken heart and a loss at gambling your friendship, you ride a plane and never look back.

10:52:00 AM 1 comments

Thursday, April 07, 2005

weird familiarity

you know how they say that sometimes all you need is closure and then you'll move on? how do you know when you've achieved some sort of closure in your life? yeah, right, confront everything. and what happens after that? there's no guarantee that the past will be left behind. and assuming in arguendo that you do leave the past behind, what makes you so sure that the past will not come back for you?

you know how sometimes we make the darnest mistakes of our lives? and it takes us forever and a day to forgive ourselves for those mistakes. and so we go on with life, thinking that the mistake is forever buried in the soils of forgiveness. then after long years of a new life, something comes up and it brings back the dead! and all you can say is...tangina...why the fuck am i so affected by it? haven't i left this all years ago? and then you realize that you never had closure.

because the reality is, there will always be that weird familiarity with people and things...and no matter how you try to leave behind everything to start anew, you bring the past with you...because who you are now is because of what was.

9:05:00 AM 1 comments

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

regrets

do people have time for regrets? i mean, the longer we sulk ourselves into regrets, the slower the pace in moving on. do we honestly want to get stuck in the past when the future is full of suprises for us? good surprises. bad surprises. who cares? the fact of the matter is that we can't hold on to something that has already passed by coz in reality, there's nothing to hold on to anymore. it's gone. they have slipped through our fingers like grains of sand.

what else can you do anyway? we've already done the things that we've done. restrained ourselves from doing the things that we wanted or ought to do. said the awful words we didn't mean to say and kept the truth that we wanted to blurt out. too bad. but that's the way life goes. we can't undo or unsay anything. the moment has passed us by. the only thing left to do is to salvage whatever there is left to be salvaged.

but is there something left to be salvaged? =(

because if there is none, then we should make things better for the next batch of people who will come into our lives and pray that this time, we'll make all the right decisions, say all the right words, and do all the right things.

8:36:00 AM 1 comments

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

i can hate you

yes, i can hate you even if you think that im totally in love with you. don't push me too far...i'd bring you to hell with me.

12:15:00 PM 1 comments

Sunday, April 03, 2005

slowly crawling back into His arms

Jars of Clay + Pope John Paul II = peace

8:12:00 AM 1 comments